Live Like You Were Dying
by Xdon't-mind-meX
Summary: Vlad's going to die in 3 days and this is a humor fic? Better than it sounds, trust me! FIRST TWO CHAPTERS REWRITTEN!
1. The List

Yay! The start of my very first non-one shot story. Though it'll be very short. Maybe 4 chapters or so. Dedicated to the one and only Vlad Masters. Story is set during Masters of all Time. And no, Danny's friends aren't also infected with ecto-acne too.

Disclaimer: Yes. I admit it. I don't own Vlad. Don't even have a plushie of him. Don't own song either.

**He said: "I was in my early forties,  
"With a lot of life before me,  
"An' a moment came that stopped me on a dime.  
"I spent most of the next days,  
"Looking at the x-rays,  
"An' talking 'bout the options an' talkin' 'bout sweet time."  
I asked him when it sank in,  
That this might really be the real end?  
How's it hit you when you get that kind of news?  
Man whatcha do?**

**An' he said: "I went sky diving, I went rocky mountain climbing,  
"I went two point seven seconds on a bull named Fu Man Chu.  
"And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,  
"And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying."  
An' he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,  
"To live like you were dyin'."**

Live Like You Were Dying by Tim McGraw

* * *

Vlad Masters lay in bed awake listening to Jack and Maddie whisper outside the lab tent. They still hadn't found the cure to his ecto-acne yet. He wasn't worried though. Jack was his "best friend". Dumb as the oaf was, he'd never let his friend die.

Besides, they were ghost experts. They would surely find the cure…wouldn't they?

"Jack, it's right here in black and white! We have to tell him!"

"It's only been two days! You can't be sure that little piece of paper is true or not!"

Maddie sighed.

"Look, I know he was our best friend in college, but you have to accept the fact there's nothing we can do for him!"

Fear grew in Vlad's stomach at the words. What were they talking about?

"You have to tell him Jack. He's not going to be living anymore come Friday."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Vlad had been shocked when he learned he was going to die in three days. He didn't stick around Fenton works for long after learning this piece of new. He could just imagine the glee on Daniel's face when he found out his archenemy was dying.

He sat in his chair staring up at the ceiling. Three days. What was he going to do? Just sit around till Friday? Perhaps take revenge on his enemies? What about his mansion and fortune? He had no heir to inherit it all.

Vlad sighed and ran his fingers through his gray hair. It was all falling apart. It was obviously all Jack's fault. Maybe he should make it his first priority to kill the man before he died.

And then what? What could that possibly serve him? He was going to die in 3 days and all he could think of to do is carry out his revenge?

Vlad shook his head.

His eyes scanned the room. The chairs, the books, the desks, where would they all go when he was gone? He had been so caught up in making plans of marrying Maddie that he didn't think of the possibility that'd he'd die before that'd ever happen.

The billionaire got up and walked over to his desk. First thing's first, clear out any important papers or documents.

Vlad rummanged around in his desk till there was but one drawer left. He eyed it wearily. He knew that drawer. He hadn't opened it in years.

Gripping the handle he slid it out slowly. There was nothing dangerous in it. No weapons or priceless jewels, not even an ancient artifact of long ago. Inside, lay a single brown shoebox. It was small in size, and painfully plain.

Vlad opened the lid. There were multiple old newspaper clippings and photos of him in his college days. One photo showed him, Maddie, and Jack all dancing down at the Bunny Hop. Back in the day it was the hottest club in town. The memory pulled at his lips, remembering how he shared his first dance with Maddie. Vlad put the picture away and held up an old clipping. It was a picture of Maddie. She was holding up a ribbon. He remembered that day well. She had won first place at the science fair. She never stopped smiling that day.

Vlad put down the clipping. A piece of paper in the corner caught his eye. He picked it up. It was entitled Things To Do Before I Die. Vlad's eyes widened. He had forgotten he still had this. He looked at the list.

1. Go skydiving.

2. Ditto for scuba diving

3. Surfing

4. Rock Climbing

5. Bungee Jumping

Are all of these extreme sports?? He thought.

He stopped at the last one.

6. Get a cat.

"WHAT?? How could I— There's no way! I couldn't have put that there!"

Vlad picked up a pen and furiously scratched out number 6. He couldn't believe he actually wrote that. Disgraceful. He looked at the list again. Technically, bungee jumping was the same thing as skydiving so he crossed out number 3 as well. Now all he had left was just those 4 other things to do.

_Wait a minute! Why am I even doing this? I'm not going to do all these pointless things while I'm going to die soon! I have much bigger business matters to attend to!_

Vlad crumpled up the paper, threw it in a nearby wastebasket, and stomped out of the room. Two hours later he came back in and snatched the paper out cursing himself for being so foolish in his younger years as to put all those "dangerous and outrageous" activities on the list. Most of all he was mad at himself that he was actually going to do them.

* * *

R&R please! Next time there will be an introduction of an unlikey character. Maybe he can teach Vlad a thing or two about life. wink, wink 


	2. Rocky Mountain Climbing

Wow. It took longer than I thought posting this chapter even though it's not very long. Sorry people. I'm just lazy and was just working on other projects like Phantom Idol and Homecoming Queen if you want to go check those out. But mostly it's cuz I'm lazy. I'm now back in school and that sucks. Don't know when I'll find the time to update again with the homework I'm getting. Plus I'm getting a job not too soon from now. Please don't be mad at me if it takes even longer to update next time!

Disclaimer: I do not own Butch Hartman's characters. But I do own Larry!

* * *

Vlad awoke the next morning in the usual fashion. He got up, took a shower, did his best to cover up the ecto-acne (you could hardly see it anymore), wrapped himself in his white bathrobe, and went downstairs to have his morning cup of coffee.

The newspaper was lying right were it should be on the table for him to read. The maids knew that Vlad didn't like it much when things weren't going the way he planned. They were careful always to have his slippers under the right side of his bed, his bathrobe nice and clean on a hook in the bathroom, and his morning newspaper at the table.

The billionaire sat down and opened the newspaper, sipping his coffee. By the look of things there wasn't much going on in the world. But he did cross some good news every now and then. Something about his old business partners going bankrupt.

The clock chimed five and Vlad quickly finished his coffee. He had gotten up especially early for this. His jet plane would fly out to the Devil's Lake area where he'd be climbing at Jigga-Beautiful Soup Boulders. An instructor would be waiting for him. Then he would suit up for skydiving at Green Bay Skydivers where he hired another instructor to be there. Tomorrow he'd go to Australia to scuba dive in the Great Barrier Reef. If he were to follow that silly list he'd do it in style at least. Besides, he'd never been to Australia before.

He then focused his energy and rose up from the floor. As he was about to pass through the ceiling to get to his bedroom he suddenly lost control and tumbled back down to the floor.

"What the—?"

Vlad got back on his feet. Just a minor miscalculation on his part. He started to float back up and the same thing happened.

A thought struck him. He was losing his powers! Vlad tried to transform into Plasmius but it did no good. It must've been from the ecto-acne.

_Guess I'll take the stairs then. _

Vlad didn't have any time to worry over it. He had to get ready.

Now, having never worn anything but his business suit he wasn't sure what to wear, or even if he had anything of the proper clothing for this event.

_This is utterly ridiculous! I've never had anything other than business suits!_

After finding nothing he put on a business suit that he had never liked so it'd be okay if he got it dirty. Vlad was going to throw the thing away anyhow. Dark blue, after all, wasn't his color. He preferred black.

When he was ready at last, Vlad got into his private jet and sat back in his chair. He popped a piece on gum in his mouth. He didn't really enjoy flying on a plane/jet as much as flying solo. However, it seemed a waste of time and energy to fly on his own when he had a private jet to take him wherever he wanted. Plus the newfound discovery of his loss of his powers added to the reason why he should just sit back and let the driver do the flying.

Vlad popped another piece of gum in his mouth.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"Excuse me sir? Sir?"

Vlad opened one eye and groaned.

"We're here Mr. Masters."

"What? Oh yes! Of coarse!"

Remembering where why he was there, Vlad got up and stepped down the ladder to meet whomever it was he hired for this. What he saw was a complete take-back.

It was a short, brown-haired man. The hair looked more like a lop-sided wig. Vlad would've bet all his money it was. On top of that, he was wearing khaki pants with a black shirt that said "Don't Hassle the Hoff".

Vlad had never seen a more outrageous outfit. And frankly he was speechless.

The man walked right up to him with an eager look on his face.

"Mr. Masters, such an honor sir! Such an honor! I've heard about you, you're the billionaire of the year! I'm Larry, Larry Turniphead! I'm the instructor you hired! And let me just say I'm ecstatic to meet you!"

The whole time Larry had been shaking Vlad's hand vigorously. It felt like his arm would come off any minute now. Vlad had to rip his hand away.

"Mr. Turniphead is it?"

Larry seemed to blush at this.

"Aw shucks! No need to be all formal! Just call me Turnip!"

"I'd prefer Larry."

"And speaking of formal, what're you all dressed up for? This is mountain climbing, not a business meeting!"

Compared to Larry's attire Vlad thought he looked pretty good. But he had a point.

"Well I don't really have the proper clothes to wear."

Larry's eyes widened.

"Really? Not to worry! I always keep a second outfit with me just in case!"

He waddled off to the trunk of his car. Vlad didn't know if he wanted to know what the "just in case" comment meant. But that was quickly pushed from his mind when he saw what his car was.

"We're going in that??"

Larry looked up.

"What, my car? Yep! Ain't she a beauty? I've had her for years!"

"Is it…safe?"

The red beetle looked at little too old for Vlad's comfort.

"Of coarse it's safe! Now let's see…ah ha! Here we are! One shirt and shorts for Vlad!"

He held up a pair a khaki pants just like his. The shirt, to his horror, was tye-dye.

"Like it? I made it myself!" Larry said proudly.

"It's…er…nice, I guess."

"Well, better hurry up and change so we can get this show on the road!"

After changing into the clothes Vlad got into the passenger seat and buckled up. He hoped to God they wouldn't break down on the way there.

"Will this take long?" Vlad asked.

"It's not that far away, not to worry, we'll get there!"

Vlad quickly learned that Larry was a big talker. He never stopped. If Vlad wasn't so annoyed at the fact he never shut up, he would've been extremely impressed by how Larry could say so many words in under a minute without having to breathe. Larry mostly talked about this "cherry" girl. She seemed to be his pen pal.

"So then I told Cheri to just quit doing the classes if they were such a bother and she typed back saying –"

Honestly, Vlad didn't see how anyone could stand talking to him over the computer, phone, or anything for that matter.

Another car just passed them up.

Vlad looked at the speedometer. If he didn't know any better he would've sworn Larry was going slow on purpose so he could blabber on more.

Just tune him out. Think of something happy. Maddie leaving Jack. Yeah…

They finally arrived and Vlad never felt so relieved. He looked around. This didn't seem right. Where were the supposed boulders?

"Alrighty then! Let's get to hiking!"

"Hiking?" Vlad didn't remember anything about having to hike.

"It's only about 200 yards from here! Vlad? Vlad are you okay?"

Vlad was leaning against the car for support.

When will this ever end???

Vlad didn't mind the next few minutes of hiking so much as he minded spending it with Larry.

"The hills are aliiiiiive, with the sound of muuuuusic!"

_Ignore. Ignore. Ignore._

Just what was he so happy about???

After a few minutes Larry shouted, "Here we are!"

The cliff was rocky and steep. Vlad was strapped up in no time.

_Alright, let's just conquer this thing so I can get out of here and back to the jet._

Being the fighter that he was, Vlad didn't have a problem climbing it. With his upper body strength it was easy.

"Wow, you're a real natural at this aren't you?" Larry asked amazed. "You sure this is your first time?"

"Quite."

"Oh, well that's—Aaaaaah!"

Larry lost his footing and started to fall down.

"Larry!"

Larry grabbed his cord and stopped his fall, and then to Vlad's bewilderment, he started to laugh. Quite loud actually.

"Wha—?"

"Gotcha!" Larry cried. "Man, I love doing that. Gets'em every time!"

Vlad's face heated up in anger. He huffed and climbed upward.

"Ah come on, don't be mad! It was just for fun! Vlad? Vlad?"

"It isn't funny at all to watch someone fall to their deaths." Vlad snorted.

Vlad never said another word after that, not even on the whole way back to the jet.

The beetle came to a stop.

"Well, I guess this is your stop." Larry said quietly.

Vlad was about to get out when he remembered he was still wearing Larry's clothes. He looked up, but Larry seemed to read his mind.

"You can keep the clothes." He said. "I got plenty more. Here, I'll pop the trunk so you can get your suit."

"That's alright, you can keep it. I'm not too fond of it anyway."

"Really??" Larry's eyes lit up. "OMGosh! Thankyouthankyouthankyou! I'll treasure forever!"

"Uhhh, sure." Vlad got out of the car a little too eagerly. "Bye." He said gruffly.

Without a backward glance, the billionaire got on the plane and gratefully watched the red car fade into the distance. At least he'd never have to see that annoying man ever again.

* * *

R&R! It's not hard! 


	3. Sky Diving

Don't hurt me for not updating in awhile! I'm trying to keep with this thing!

Disclaimer: Don't own Vlad, but Larry's mine!

* * *

Vlad sat in his private jet once again. He had hastily said goodbye to Larry, not wanting to spend another second with the crazy man.

He pulled out the list and marked off rock climbing.

Vlad sat back in the leather seat and closed his eyes. Three days. He wasn't scared of death, at least he didn't think he was. It was his possessions. He had no heir, no relatives to leave his fortune to, nothing. If only he had succeeded in convincing Maddie and Daniel to leave the idiot Jack.

Vlad hardly noticed when they landed. He got up and walked down the plane steps. There was supposed to be a trainer around here somewhere.

"Vladdie!"

Vlad cringed. _Please, let that not be who I think it is_, he thought.

"Mikey got sick on short notice so I volunteered!" Larry ran up to him. "I had no idea it was you thought! Guess it's fate!"

"Yes, it is." And oh how it hated him.

Larry was dressed in a white sky diving suit with a matching helmet tucked under his arm.

"I can't wait to get up in the air! You're gonna have a blast, trust me!"

"I'm sure." Vlad said unenthusiastically.

Soon enough, both men were up in the air hundreds of miles above ground.

The suit was okay as far as Vlad was concerned. At least he didn't have to wear that horrorific outfit Larry gave him earlier. He was even okay with being strapped to Larry. He was fine with it all, until the side door of the plane was opened.

"This is it!" Larry yelled over the roaring of the wind. "Oh, this is gonna so much fun!"

"Are you mad?? This isn't fun, it's insanity! I changed my mind! Tell the pilot to land the plane!"

Larry had either ignored him or didn't hear him.

"On the count of 3 then!

"I'm not ready!"

"1…"

"No wait!"

"2…"

Vlad grabbed the side s of the door and planted his feet down.

"3!"

Larry pushed Vlad but he wouldn't budge.

"Come on now, jump!"

Larry gave a final shove and both he and Vlad tumbled out the door into the open sky.

It was here that it hit Vlad that he had no way of knowing he'd get out of this alive. If the parachute didn't work he didn't have his ghost powers to rely on anymore.

And so the billionaire did the only logical thing he could think of…he screamed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You know, it wasn't that bad for your first time."

Vlad's fingers shook as he drank his coffee, no good; his nerves were still on end.

"Look, I promise not to tell anyone you scream like a girl, okay?"

Vlad made no sign that he had heard.

Larry shook his head. He had to do something to get him out of this state! He decided he should just keep talking.

"So do you like animals? You know, my pen pal has a cat. It just had kittens a few weeks ago. She sent me pictures of them; they're so cute! You should get one of them!"

"I WILL NOT GET A CAT!"

Larry jumped back at Vlad's outburst.

Vlad blinked suddenly remembering where he was.

"S-sorry. I just…don't want one." He said lamely.

"Okay." Larry said, still shaken.

Silence….

"Well, it was nice meeting you again." Vlad stood up, not able to take the tension anymore. "But I must get going now."

"Oh, guess I better too. Buh bye!"

Larry walked off in his happy manner.

Vlad sighed. At least he was almost done with the list. No more crazy stunts for today either. He could go home and finally relax.

Vlad made his way back to his private jet and walked up the stairs.

"Mr. Masters!" A man Vlad recognized as the co-pilot exclaimed. "You're back!"

"Of coarse I'm back! Now why don't you tell the pilot to get a move on! I want to take a nice relaxing bath when I get home."

"W-well you see sir, he's um…"

"He's what?"

"Not here."

The poor man was panicking under Vlad's murderous gaze.

"What do you mean, not here?"

"You were taking so long to get back and he got hungry so he took a…a…lunch break."

That pilot was _so_ getting fired.

Vlad wheeled around and stomped back down the plane's stairs. This was completely outrageous! He felt like blowing something up with his non-existent ghost powers!

"Vlad!"

He turned his head to see Larry running toward him.

What the heck?

Larry stopped to catch his breath.

"What's wrong?"

"My…car…"

"Yes?"

"Stolen."

Vlad blinked. Stolen?

"That red beetle?"

"Gone." Larry said. "It's terrible! I don't know why anyone would do such a thing!"

Frankly, Vlad couldn't either. If he was going to steal something it wouldn't be a busted old car like his! But still…

"Is there anything I can do?" Vlad asked slowly.

"Well, I was hoping if…I could, er, go home with you?"

"Larry—"

"It's just for the night! Please Vlad?"

"Don't you have someone you could call to pick you up or something?"

Larry shook his head sadly.

Vlad sighed. Heartless as he was he couldn't leave him.

"Okay."

"Thank you!"

Larry hugged him.

"Ugh! That's okay you don't have to thank me!"

Vlad pushed the man away.

What had he gotten himself into?

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"Prepare a bedroom for Mr. Turniphead here. He'll be staying with us for the night."

The maid was surprised at their unexpected guest but bowed her head respectfully.

"Yes Mr.Masters."

Larry's head popped into view behind Vlad.

"Woa, Vlad did you know your maids here are sexy?"

The maid went scarlet.

"Just…go." Vlad muttered to her.

"I'm starting to think you aren't so lonely here in this big house after all, you sly devil you!"

Vlad slapped his forehead.

Larry never stopped ooing and awing at every little household item that even had the faintest sign saying, "I'm priceless".

"What's in this room?"

Larry opened the door.

"Wait, don't!"

Too late did call out for Larry was already through the door.

"Oh wow! A Packer's shrine!"

"Don't touch that! Hey!"

"I didn't know you were a fan, Vlad!"

It had taken a whole of 30 minutes just to get Larry to his room. He kept stopping every 5 seconds to look at some vase or other object.

"Thanks for doing this Vlad, it means a lot."

Vlad nodded, too tired and stressed out to talk.

"Hey, I'm hungry. What do ya got to eat in this place?"

5 minutes later both sat at the dinner table eating spaghetti, apparently it was Larry's favorite dish. It had been a long time since Vlad had had any pasta.

"Man, you oughtta give your cook a raise! This is delicious!" Larry finished off the last forkful and sat back satisfied.

"Hey, do you mind if I ask you a question?"

"Shoot."

"Why are you doing this? Not taking me in I mean, it's just you don't seem like the outgoing type and I was wondering why you were doing all those adventurous things today."

Vlad blinked, why was he doing this? It gained him nothing, and certainly didn't do any good to his situation. What was he trying to prove?

"It's okay, you don't have to answer." Larry said after a moment of silence.

"You know what? I have absolutely no idea why." Vlad said finally.

"You don't always have to have a reason to do something." Larry said.

Vlad looked at Larry as if he were for the first time. That was actually…very smart.

"Got anything else planned for tomorrow?" Larry asked. "You seem to be on a roll to catch up with your kid side."

"Well, now that you mention it, I'm planning on going to Australia tomorrow to do some scuba diving there."

Vlad took a drink of his water as Larry said, "Really?? I'm going there too!"

Vlad spit water out all over the table.

XXXXXXXXX

After finding out that once again, Larry was the selected trainer he'd hired he figured he should just deal with it. What's done is done.

It was awhile before he got to bed for Larry wouldn't stop jabbering on.

Vlad laid in his soft, king sized bed. He was suddenly overcome with the feeling someone was watching him.

Vlaaaad… 

Too early.

_Vlaaaad…_

He cracked one eye open to the most horrible wake up call of his life. Larry's face was staring straight into his.

"YEOW!"

Vlad flipped over the bed.

"Are you alright?" Larry rushed to his side. "Sorry if I frightened you!"

"What are you doing??" Vlad demanded.

"It's Thursday Vlad!"

"So??"

Larry looked down at the billionaire.

"Australia."

* * *

I'll try to update quicker next time but I'm not promising anything! 


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